Please Leave if [vol. 14]: You’re such a f***ing schmoozer!
You might not be, but sometimes I am. This post is a day late because yesterday I made the 8 hour drive up to Santa Rosa (an hour or so north of San Francisco) for my beautiful cousin Kristin Harold’s wedding. It’s great to be here, but family can be a bitch.
We all have our faults, but one of mine is a tendency to be a pleaser around people I’m not very comfortable with. This includes my extended family. With the increase of mobility in our society, families tend to see less and less of each other. This blanket statement is as true of my family as any other. I see my uncle, aunt, and two cousins once a year or so. If we’re lucky, maybe twice. It’s hard to build much of a relationship with so little face time.
Anyway, we were at the rehearsal dinner last night and I found myself saying things just because I thought they would please my family. Worse, I found myself getting discouraged about my job and the things I’m doing because they didn’t meet my extended family’s definitions of what life is all about.
So today, on joebunting.com, we are going to do what we always do at the end of a long, tiring week. We are going to exclude.
Joe Bunting the schmoozing ass kisser. Get the eff out. We never liked you much anyway. Tonight I will be real. Tonight I will be me. The true thing to say might be hard, but it must be said.
Hey, kind of like that John Mayer song that all my friends hate.
Say what you need to say (x a million)
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin’,
Do it with a heart wide open.
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This entry was posted on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 11:31 am and is filed under Joe Bunting the Jerk. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
on June 29, 2008 at 10:23 am Shannon wrote:
Hey Joe,
I’m sorry to hear that being with the extended family was such a drag. It sucks when you feel like you don’t meet up to people’s expectations or they make your life seem so worthless. We have enough work beating off our own self-deprecating thoughts, like so many flies, without other people increasing them!
And anyway, who says that this summer is IT for the rest of our lives? We’re just in training, in transition.
Also: you are not a jerk! at least not wholly =) and we can all act like fools every now and then, especially when we are with people we “know” but don’t know. If that makes sense. Some of my family is like that too - all we talk about is what I’m majoring and what the hell I am doing with an English major! Always fun, not that stimulating or scintillating for that matter.
It was really good talking to you the other day! I miss you (and I actually mean that and am not just saying it because it seems like the thing to say…)
Peace, I love you a lot,
Shan
on July 2, 2008 at 8:22 am Jerry Wigdortz wrote:
Hey Joe,
I thought that what you had to say to me on Saturday at the wedding reception was thoughtful and introspective. You were trying to figure out what to do next, taking into account all of your talents and interests. It’s a hard thing to do, because the younger you are the more options and alternatives you have. You have lots of time left in your life, fewer responsibilities and the boundless energy(well, almost boundless) to tackle just about anything. As you get older, time left becomes more limited, responsibilities tend to grow, energy gets depleted and, well, you get the idea.
The most precious commodity you have is time. While you have it, follow the passions in your life…not to please others, but to fulfill your promise. Remember that you don’t want to look back 20 years from now and say that you wished you’d given your all to a passion of yours, but now with the committments in your life, you feel you just can’t take the time!
Best,
Jerry