Joe Bunting

How to chastise

I heard two beautiful stories at Mount Calvary today, stories about people who forgave much, like Christ forgave much, when people do the wrong thing.

The First Story

There was a wise abbot in a monastery somewhere not too far away.  One day, two monks came to him, out of breath.  Wheezing, they told him of a young monk who they said was doing some very “un-monk-like” things in his cell.

The abbot got up and followed them to the young monk’s cell, but he walked slowly and talked loudly.  When they got to the young monk’s room, the woman was lying under a basket.  So the abbot sat on it and told the monks to search the room.

When they found nothing, he chastised the two monks for their quickness to judge and their willingness to condemn.  Then he dismissed them.

Before he got up to leave, he put his hand on the young monk’s shoulder and said, “Care for your soul, my son.”

The Second Story

In 2006, a troubled man entered an Amish school, taking the children and teacher hostage.  Then, he murdered the children and killed himself.

In a public press conference, the leaders of the Amish community stood up and said, “We forgive this man.”

They didn’t wait for a while to think about it.  They didn’t go through years of counseling.  They stood up immediately, and forgave him.

Here’s what a story on NPR said,

Last month, it was announced that the Amish community had donated money to the killer’s widow and her three young children.

It was one more gesture of forgiveness, gestures that began soon after the shooting.

Donald Kraybill, is a sociologist at nearby Elizabethtown College and co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.

“I think the most powerful demonstration of the depth of Amish forgiveness was when members of the Amish community went to the killer’s burial service at the cemetery,” Kraybill says. “Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer’s family.”

What do we learn from forgiveness

If there was ever a reason not to murder Amish children, children of firm believers in Jesus and his mercy, it would be this: when you have died in your sin and shame, they will hug your widow and care for your children.

“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.”  Proverbs 25:21-22

To me, it is clear why Carnegie said the best way to win someone to your way of thinking is to “be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires,” and to “show respect for the other person’s opinions.”  When you treat people with respect, when people feel heard, it opens up their ears to listen.

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This entry was posted on Friday, September 12th, 2008 at 1:18 pm and is filed under Joe Bunting the Listener. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.